Either-Or? Neither-Nor!

for Sheep Adventure

I don't know what I want to do, and I don't know what I want
to have, either. But, I do know what kind of person I want to
be. This acknowledgement helps little because, nowadays, it's
what you do that matters, not what--or who--you are.

However, as I said earlier, I would never be happy if I were a
dog but trying to be a cat. I've tried to be one for a couple
of times, but I blundered. And, even when I got closer, I did
not at all feel the joy I was supposed to have.

So I quit. It's not easy and it hasn't finished yet. But I quit
anyway. Because that is not the way for me: to know first of
all what I 'really' want to do or have. All I've known by now
is what I do NOT want to do and have.

Because I am getting to know better who I am. That is the
way which suits me. And I've made up my mind to try this
way out no matter where it will lead me. Perhaps I am not
yet ready to address all the challenges lying ahead,

but I am ready for the challenges. I do not know what you
want and I don't pretend to possess the key. All I can and
should say is nothing but a brutal fact--you have to work
your way out all by yourself. No matter what it would be.

But you do not have to fight alone. You have friends, you
have books, family, rationality, sense perception and me.
No one says that it is easy to find his or her own way but
that is not the reason for us to quit searching, and if once
found, not to follow along.

Hence, I know for sure that I shall never stop reading and
learning whether in- or out-side the school. It is quite true
that university is a place to study and learn. But it's even
truer, I think, that university is a place for us to ponder...

...why we should study and learn. And above all what kind
of person you want to be. Which personal traits you want
to have and which goal of life you want to attend. Without
such knowledge, learning is nothing but mere shit.

But the school seldom, if not never, teaches us about all
this. Maybe that's also part of the reason why you felt so
puzzled and frustrated with your college life. The soother
that I can now give you is only this:

Here in Taiwan it is no better. Nonetheless, just because
the school did not teach us that it is even worthier for us
to try harder to know the reason--of your own--to study
and learn.

That's exactly what I came to realise after transferring to
the Philosophy Department: Philosophy is NOT what the
professors say and do; NOR is it the subject matters laid
out in the curriculum.

You may dislike some of the professors or you may find
boring certain subject matter, be it due to the teaching or
due to the textbooks. But they are NOT philosophy itself.
You have to learn to know philosophy all by yourself.

Just like the professors and the authors of the books did
as they were in their youth. So, it seems that I do have a
suggestion to make: Before knowing which subjects you
want to learn, find first the reason why you want to learn.

So is it for life. To have a dream is not at all difficult. But
to realise it is sometimes extremely hard. For me, that's
another reason to study and learn: to know how to make
a dream come true. Perhaps you can try by yourself my
findings and see what it will turn out.

But you have to find your own answers.

And you are not alone. I am always here to listen and, if
possible, to give you my heart and both hands. Feel not
discouraged. God knows you are getting progress. Thus
He now gives you something tougher to conquer.

It is a sign for moving forward, rather than holding back.

Take care, Bro.

grinder Hase